I have written in the past about how I opt-in to sanity by taking my medication every day.
For me, this is an easy decision. I never again want to experience the depression I suffered with my whole life, nor do I want to go into mania and jeopardize everything I’ve worked so hard for.
Regardless, I have sympathy for other bipolar patients who
face this decision and opt-out of medication.
In The Dickensian Reset, I wrote about how I found Lithium—the most commonly prescribed mood stabilizer—to be oppressive. I worked with my prescriber to wean myself off of it.
I also wrote about the different atypical antipsychotics I was prescribed. Some seemed to have no effect; some seemed to make me worse; others worked but still had debilitating side effects. For me, Abilify (generic Aripiprazole, really) is a miracle drug, but I can’t endorse it for everyone. Horror stories can readily be found online of those who took Abilify and had terrible side effects or abnormal behaviors.
However, I am also on a very low dose (5 mg/daily), whereas
some of the stories I read involve dosages of hundreds of milligrams of Abilify
or another antipsychotic. When I read those reports, I feel like the dosage
alone explains their issue: of course these overmedicated patients are experiencing
terrible side effects!
Quitting your medication cold turkey—while I can appreciate the temptation—isn’t the answer though. You’re bound to relapse and have another severe episode, likely leading to hospitalization, and then be put back onto your medication. To make matters worse, there is evidence that the more you go on these "medication vacations" the more difficult your symptoms become to manage.
My advice to my fellow bipolar patients is to advocate for yourself rather than quitting your medication. Work with your prescriber to find a drug that works for you, but has the least side effects. Work to reduce your medication’s dosage until you find that balance of efficacy with little-to-no side effects.
Never give up hope, keep experimenting, and when you find a regimen
that works for you, keep with it.
If you take a psychopharmaceutical, what has your journey been like?